Vlog Update!!! Vlog #2

Letter from the editor…

Hey my blog & vlog family!  Let me start out by saying thank you for your continued support and for entertaining my foolishness really.  It makes my heart smile.  I was asked how often I’d be updating the Blog & Vlog and I want to be honest.  The perfectionist in me keeps me from update more often.  I’ll do my best, but these are my babies.  I want it done right or not at all.  Still, the objective is to have you able to check back the blog all throughout the week, and for you to be able to start your Mondays off with Vlog footage every other Monday for that beginning of the work week smile (again, I’ll do my best)!

I’ve also made a few changes to the layout of the page.  I added two slideshows off in the side bar.  The first being of just lovely gay, bi, and transgender people being lovely.  All races, all creeds, all colors, all genders.  Unfortunately, gay love & beauty is taboo and we don’t see it embraced enough, so I want to do my small part in helping usher in the movement.The second being of dreadful people and things being…well….dreadful.  It’s just for fun people, for a good laugh or to make you feel better, which ever it is at the moment you look at the pictures.  I can’t take credit full credit for the idea though, that’s belongs to my genius blogger and co-worker Darian over at LOLDarian.  Be sure to support his site along with the others listed, they do such amazing work and keep you informed with all the latest.  Each site has a little different taste, so I’m sure you’ll find something you love just as much as here! 

Also, I’m going to stop playing the auto-tune.  It just seem too much and overbearing, I don’t want you to have to mute your computer if you at work or something, or maybe you listening to you’re own music and don’t want to have it interupt, trust me, I understand.  So that’s coming down and instead, I’m going to upload tracks that you can easily download for yourself and listen to at your very own leisure!  Genius!  Now people, I have ridiculously good taste in music, this I’m very confident in.  So I’m telling you, if you find it here, it is worth downloading! 

Lastly, I’ll be posting my Vlog into the Blog!  It’s only natural.  The Vlog is something very new that I’m trying to get off the ground so I appreciate all of your love and telling your friends to check it out.  It’s just wholesome new age fun with technology.  I hope you enjoy.  And if you do, tell two friends, then hopefully they’ll tell two friends and so on and so forth.

You have my love;  Remember life is but a dream, so dream BIG my loves. MUAH!

YESS!!!!! YES YES YES! 36 VIDEOS AND COUNTING…

Lookie what a very dear friend of mine turn me on to!  I love it!  Her name is Charlotte and it appears…Charlotte has been receiving government crazy checks since the age of 5.  Yes people, Charlotte does the most!  She is a Apple store legend.  Going from Apple store to Apple store across the country singing, preaching AND modeling for the masses.  I’m going to stake of the Lenox Square Apple store tomorrow in hopes of getting autograph.  Enjoy the following clips.

Here we have Charlotte speaking the word…

And here we have Charlotte modeling the latest fashions from Milan;  work Charlotte.  I LOVE how she scares off the customers, particularly the pasty white nerd in the Mickey Mouse tee!  He’s totally out of his comfort zone.

And lastly, oh but not least, turn up your headphone and prepare to take in…The Charlotte Experience.

People this is someone’s mother…AND someone’s grandmother.  Save her.

Become apart of KiyoRayTube history

YouTwitFace, I need your help!  Do you have a webcam?  Are you pretty?  Would you like to be apart of my YouTube family?  I want you on my VLOG!  Its really simple.  If you have a cam, just record yourself answering the following questions from the comforts of your choice of surroundings and I’ll edit your answers into the show. 

1.  What is your favorite word?

2.  What is your least favorite word?

3.  What turn you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

4.  What turns you off?

5.  What is your favorite curse word?

6.  What sound or noise do you love?

7.  What sound or noise do you hate?

8.  What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

9.  What profession would you not like to do?

10.  If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear GOD say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

The questionairre is made popular by the great Mr. James Lipton of insightful program, Inside The Actors Studio.  The questionairre is both fun and insightful, so let’s have fun with it!

Teen Cribs? But…

they not paying the fucking bills, that’s mommy and daddy money?!  Aside from that, so I guess that MTV wants to show me that even snotty nose 15 year old are living grander than me.  Oh, so it’s a bloodline thing.  I should blame my FAMILY for not having those things!  It all makes so much sense now.  Seriously though, one thing my family DID give me are looks…apparently something none of these kids inherited.  Goodness, you showing me the home theater, horse stables and shit…WHERE’S THE FUCKING GYM?!  Step away from the fridge fatty!  And put on a bra!  I have to give those titties two thumbs DOWN!  So what if you’re a boy!  No excuses.  Ugly ass kids.  Store bought friends.  They don’t like you.  The programming on MTV is enough to make you pawn your t.v. and put up a nice painting to stare at…or in my case, a mirror :-)

IIIIIIIIIIII told ya so….

Solange looks haute!  I told you the cut wouldn’t take away from her loveliness.  I mean, look at that face!  All the great faces can pull off low cuts!  Whitney, Solange, Shamira Davis, Aisha Thomas, Keith Grant, Maxwell, Eric Benet, Badu, Amber Rose, Kiyo Ray.

This daring move is not for the weak and “unique” faces.  No, this is for the people who serve up face! It’s what we do, its who are, its our natural beauty.  Thank you Lord Jesus!  We are not our hair! 

Oh and just let me add how I love how Solange just throws on a lace wig and hits it! HA!  Work Solange.  “Where’s your hair?”  I sent it out to get washed, I’m going to the park with my son; move dearie, got better things to do.

Does Mercedes make bicycles?

So last week I was watching Inkwell and had a epiphany!  I would like a bike!  It’s a genius idea.  I live not far from Piedmont Park, right in the heart of Atlanta and its a environmentally friendly way of transportation which is so end right now; everybody is going green.  I couldn’t stop envisioning myself peddling through the city streets with my little messenger murse, oversized sunglasses, looking up at the clouds smiling while I scare little kids playing in the streets and running cars off the road trying to avoid collision.  So I headed to the local bike store.  To my surprise, apparently Mercedes do make bikes or at least that what the price tag showed!  $2499, $1349, hell $549 was a BARGAIN!  What’s this foolishness?!  I was expecting to spend about $30 and  peddle my ass out to the parking lot!  Where are the HUFFYs?!  Needless to say, I laughed in the sale woman face and then headed to WAL-MART!  Found my bike!  Isn’t it pretty?!  Yeah, no one told me I’d have to peddle myself and that’d be work.  Something called exercise, who knew?  How sneaky I thought.  But I won’t fret because come next summer I’ll be rocking those ridiculously short shorts showing off my Nair legs making the boys drool as the power-bottom zooms by.  Awe, victory. So if you see me on the road riding by or walking my bike up a hill, lol…feel free to honk as you drive by laughing.  Please refrain from throwing things at me.

Can I just have a ice tea? I’ll take it Long Island…

So I was in Caribou Coffee the other day enjoying some free internet and a slushy mango drink infused with tazo tea (yummy!) and the only thing that I could’ve made it better was cushion on the seats and alcohol.  So I got to thinking, how awesome would it be if there was like a adult slushy spot!  Much like the daiquiri drive thrus in Louisiana, but no drive thru of course.  NOT A BAR either.  Bars are always hardcore drinking.  No beers here or anything else that’ll attract the hairy.  No, this is for pretty people.  And you can even bring your none drinking pals along for a virgin whatever. 

A friend of mind was ready to draw up a business plan and start applying for licenses when another thought came to me.  Kiyo…why don’t you just start carrying your flask again!  I can spike drinks EVERYWHERE!  McDonald’s shakes;  QuickTime slushes; milk in my cereal!; the possibilities are ENDLESS!  So in lue of doing all that paperwork, I encourage you to go buy yourself a flask.  The end.

Have you seen the remote?

So friends…can we talk for a sec?  Can I “keep it real”?  Promise you won’t “read” me for throwing you under the bus?  Okay, well here’s the tea.  I’m going to plea that you start paying closer attention to the backgrounds in your pictures.  Do you think that floral sheet is a good substitute for curtains or blinds?  Boo boo, your home is a disaster!  How dare you buy a digital camera before matching linens.  And is that a Mariah Carey poster on your wall?  Did you tear that out of Wassup! magazine?!  How old are you again?  And for those mature queen that think that framing this celebrity photos is the classier route, I’m here to inform you that IT IS NOT.

Also, enough with the household products being used to size up your dick.  Okay, we get it.  It’s large.  Yes it looks a lot like a television remote.  HELL NO, I won’t change the channel!  Walk yo ass up to the set.  Another question is what would be the household equilvalent for the vagina? hm…I guess I should take a pic with my ass and a…apple.  Apple bottoms, get it?!  Oh you no fun, lol.

Oh damn Janet, now I have to roll in oil..

So apparently there’s a new photo of Janet floating the web that has all the bloggers and family punching keyboards across cyberworld. 

I can’t confirm…the photo is HOTNESS on a arctic day.  But…I have to play devil’s advocate on this photo.  For one, its obvious that this is NOT a recent photo.  We all saw Janet just a few weeks ago at the televised memorial, and though she was FIERCE (love love loved it Janet, very old school Diane Carroll Dynasty), but let’s state facts people.  Janet is…rountound.  What?  YES I LOVE JANET.  These are facts.  I can’t front, I do have major beef with Janet and it’s only because of her weight flauxuation.  I’m love “juicy” Janet more then this “record release six-pack” Janet.  This woman obviously has a disorder that is being overlooked because she’s a icon and a member of the Jackson dynasty.  Think about it.  If anyone else, celebrity included, dropped and pick up and dropped weight like Janet does, wouldn’t the tabloids be all over it? 

P.S. Yes she’s a dead ringer for Michael Jackson, especially in this photo.  How genius is it of the whole family using the same surgeon?!  Come on now, it makes such sense.  I wonder if there was a discount.  Who got surgery first?  I wonder if that information is available on the internet.  The Jackson Family plastic surgery timeline.

Add Vlogger to the resume!!!! Vlog #1