Have you seen the remote?

So friends…can we talk for a sec?  Can I “keep it real”?  Promise you won’t “read” me for throwing you under the bus?  Okay, well here’s the tea.  I’m going to plea that you start paying closer attention to the backgrounds in your pictures.  Do you think that floral sheet is a good substitute for curtains or blinds?  Boo boo, your home is a disaster!  How dare you buy a digital camera before matching linens.  And is that a Mariah Carey poster on your wall?  Did you tear that out of Wassup! magazine?!  How old are you again?  And for those mature queen that think that framing this celebrity photos is the classier route, I’m here to inform you that IT IS NOT.

Also, enough with the household products being used to size up your dick.  Okay, we get it.  It’s large.  Yes it looks a lot like a television remote.  HELL NO, I won’t change the channel!  Walk yo ass up to the set.  Another question is what would be the household equilvalent for the vagina? hm…I guess I should take a pic with my ass and a…apple.  Apple bottoms, get it?!  Oh you no fun, lol.